I started this blog several weeks ago, I even have no less than 5 drafts started for the first post, but I have nothing to show for it. Clearly — I’m having a hard time getting started. 😰😅 So I figured I’d do what I do best, which is start writing and let a stream of consciousness slip out:
I think part of what has been holding me back on this blog is the idea of expectations. The idea of not being able to live up to “a blog that’s written by someone who has been blogging more than half their life and has a degree in journalism.” I think both of these facts about myself and background, which I had the nerve to offer on my about page, make me feel like an imposter.
I am also very cognizant of the fact that I don’t want to come off as a know-it-all pseudo healer who barely knows what they’re talking about…but I also want to be able to *actually* contribute in a meaningful way to spiritual conversations that are taking place.
Basically, it’s layers upon layers of imposter syndrome that I’m trying to work through. Even as I type this, I’m debating whether I should even post something like this. Whether this is the tone I should go with (which is my natural voice) — or whether I should try to clean it up somehow and come off as more professional? Fuck that.
Anyway. Now that I’ve worked through all of that and lovingly said goodbye to those doubts, I just want to set some intentions for this space. First and foremost, I want it to be clear that I am not attempting in any way to establish myself as a healer, an expert, a guide, etc. My only goal with this space is to organize my thoughts and share what I’m learning.
There are some concepts I’ve been getting familiar with on a casual level for the better part of a decade, and now I feel ready to expand on my spiritual journey. My journey began in 2011 when I began to get very physically ill, and we couldn’t figure out what was going on with me. I was in and out of the hospital over the next couple of years, and I began to experience anxiety attacks each time a bout of illness would come on.
I went on a search for something to calm my nerves while my body could not be soothed. I found a gang of things that I never would have tried out otherwise: meditation, aromatherapy, solfeggio frequencies, dietary changes, yoga. Through all of these things, I learned more and more about spirituality — about the connection between my body and mind first, but also about the purpose and trajectory of our souls, the spaces between life and death, about our deep connection we all have with each other on a soul level.
At this point, my journey has expanded from healing on a physical level to doing the deep inner work necessary to heal on a soul level. This includes shadow work, inner child work, confronting generational traumas, etc. Being able to discuss and share these topics is something I’m looking forward to doing with this blog. But more important than that, I’m just looking forward to sharing experiences and knowledge with people who are also on their own journeys.
Again…I can’t stress enough that I don’t consider myself an expert in any of these topics. My only goal is to continue to be a student, and to find some sense of community on this journey I’ve been on!
Thanks for reading, fam. ❤
theburiedgold 